Thank You For Being a Mate
by callmeluna
Summary: I bet this is one of the craziest fan fic combinations YOU'VE ever heard of. Harry Potter Golden Girls. Oh, and don't worry. This story has no pedophilia or any sick-o stuff like that: I'm not a pervert. It's all in good fun. Enjoy and please review!
1. Default Chapter

_**Setting the scene**: Since the rise of Lord Voldemort, Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic, has scattered different officials across the globe. Many ended up in the United States, where they were informed to protect the non-magical folk from any wrongdoing and to report any strange situations to the Ministry of Magic at once. Arthur Weasley and his family were unwillingly moved to a small town home in Miami, Florida where they were to stay for the remainder of the summer. Ron, George, Fred, and Ginny were unhappy about the decision at first, but once they caught a glimpse of the beautiful Miami sun and warm, inviting weather, they decided one summer wouldn't be too badly spent in "The States." Fudge also allowed for Hermione Granger and Harry Potter to stay with them during the summer, but warned them to stay out of any trouble or else they would "see most unfriendly consequences." The Weasleys, Hermione and Harry have to keep a low cover and no one must find out about their true identities. This means magic is at its minimum. _

Ron Weasley shot up in his bed and glanced at his alarm clock. The bright Miami Sun was peaking over a grassy hill and shining into his bedroom window. "Eleven thirty. I almost slept through the whole bloody day!" He was extremely excited to spend his first day of summer vacation with his two best mates, Hermione and Harry. They were arriving later that afternoon.

"Oh, _Roooonald_," called Molly Weasley from another room. "Oh Ronnykins, do come here for a minute. I have a few chores for you before your friends get here. Come along then."

"_Mum_," whined Ron, but he slid out of bed and made his way downstairs, briefly pausing to take a look at the massive pimple that had resided on his chin two days ago. "Oy, that is _awful_," he muttered to himself. It seemed like revolting, oversized pimples were always appearances on Ron's usually clear face lately, and nothing he put on it could get them to disappear.

"Good morning, Ronny!" said Mrs. Weasley, holding out her hands to give Ron a hug. He smiled and patted her back.

"I see that unsightly blemish hasn't toned down over night," said Fred, who was seated at the kitchen table eating breakfast.

"You should have come to us," said George, smiling. "You know we invented that anti-blemish cream… it'd be off by now, and Hermione'd never know you had it!"

Ron wrinkled his forehead. "_First of all_," he started angrily, "anything you two blokes created can't help me out in the slightest. And _secondly_… what's all this rubbish on Hermione? Why would _I _care if she saw _this_…" he pointed towards the pimple, "this…"

"Nasty, puss oozing zit?" offered Ginny.

"Now, Ginny," said Mrs. Weasley, giving a scolding look to her youngest daughter.

"Well, Mum, I was only telling the truth," replied Ginny, smiling at her twin brothers, who were giving her a thumbs up.

"Oh, my," replied Mrs. Weasley. "I do believe I've run out of sugar. Ron, be a dear and run next door to pick me up some more, would you? We have some lovely new neighbors just down the street… I am sure they'd be glad to lend us a cup…"

"Oh, _Mum_, those old hags! They're muggles!"

"Now Ronald, you mustn't talk back. Run along and pick me up some sugar right now. And give them this thank you note just so they'll know we're not rude. Muggles are such politely strange people…"

Ron frowned and picked up the small mixing bowl that his mother was holding out for him and shoved the thank-you note into his pocket."Fine," he said defiantly. "I'll go."

Patting his unkempt red hair down as neatly as he could, he made his way out the front door. He began walking down the hot pavement, whistling quietly as he walked. When he approached the front stoop of the small house, he hesitated, and then rang the doorbell.

"I'll get it!" said a manly female voice from the inside.

For some reason, Ron became extremely queasy.

The door swung opened, and a tall, middle-aged female in a pink terrycloth robe greeted him. "Who are you?" she growled.

"Um, I'm Ronald Weasley, y-y-your new next door neighbor," he stuttered.

"Dorothy, is it the UPS Man? Ooh, I am so excited! My rubber sheets are here!"

The intimidating man-woman turned to give a dirty look to her roommate. "No, Rose, it's our new neighbor." She turned to look at Ron and flashed a smile. "Why, hello there!" she said in a friendly voice. "I'm Dorothy Sbornak. And this is Rose, my roommate."

"It's, n-n-nice to meet you," said Ron, smiling.

Rose beamed excitedly. "Why, I don't believe I've _ever_ met a British person face to face. I'll _have _to go write this down in my diary!" She shook Ron's hand sweetly.

"Well what are you waiting for, Rose? Why not do it right now!" said Dorothy sarcastically.

"Dorothy," said a deep southern voice coming from the back of the house, "Dorothy, who is it? If it's Timothy, tell him to go away. I refuse to speak to him after what he said last night. How _dare_ him show his face—why _hello_!" an over-makeuped, dyed hair, silky nightgown clothed woman pushed out of the kitchen through a swinging door, and smiled at Ron. She had a mug full of steaming coffee in her left hand.

"And this is Blanche," added Dorothy.

"Er…er…hello," said Ron.

Blanche smiled at Ron and patted her hair down with her other hand. "My, what a handsome young fellow you are!" she said, smiling sweetly. "Why don't you just come on in here for a nice cup of coffee!"

"Er, well actually, Mum wanted to borrow some sugar, if that's alright with you…"

"Back in Sicily, if you ran out of sugar, you'd better hope you had a good next door neighbor, or else you might not have coffee cake for a month!" said a small woman with frosty white hair and thick glasses. "Sophia Patrillow," she said, holding her hand out to Ron. Hesitantly, he shook it.

"Oh, nonsense, Sophia. We have plenty of sugar for this boy. Just come right into the kitchen," said Blanche. She pushed Ron into the kitchen and into a chair. He sat completely still, his eyes bugging out.

Rose crossed the kitchen floor, opened up the refrigerator, and located a small bag of powdered sugar. "Here you go," she said kindly, handing Ron the sugar.

"Oh, thanks," he said, smiling. He reached into his pocket to get out the thank-you note. And out fell his wand.


	2. Chapter 2

_Oh, God_, thought Ron. _They'll figure it out. Surely they will. _ His eyes darted around the kitchen table as he made a quick grab for the wand lying next to his left foot. No one seemed to have noticed anything out of the ordinary.

"Pen fell out of my pocket," said Ron nervously, chuckling and handing Dorothy the thank-you note that had caused the whole ruckus.

Blanche smiled at him. "Cheesecake, honey?" she said in her overly accentuated southern accent.

Ron shrugged and nodded. He'd never heard of eating cheesecake for breakfast. It must be some crazy American custom. But nevertheless, it was cheesecake. And chocolate cheesecake at that. He watched as Blanche cut questionably large slices for each of the girls and himself before helping herself to the remainder of the cake and the excess icing that has fallen onto the now empty plate.

"So, how are you liking Miami?" said Dorothy, sipping her steamy coffee.

"Oh, it's really nice. The weather is just beautiful," said Ron. "I think I could really get used to it down here… of course, I'd miss Hog—" he paused and managed to stutter out, "Hog's Tail. My favorite saloon in Surrey."

"Oh, well Miami has many nice restaurants," replied Blanche. "But we ladies here tend to spend a lot of time at home."

"And when she says home, she means bedroom," added Sophia.

Ron cringed. Blanche elbowed Sophia smiling, and the rest of the ladies looked disturbed. "Well you know, I'd really better be going. Mum has to finish up her baking…" he motioned towards the bag of sugar, "And we appreciate this very much."

"Look what you've done, Sophia. You've gone and scared the boy off!" said Blanche, shoveling a large forkful of cake into her mouth and dabbing it politely with a napkin. "Well, you're welcomed here anytime, Ronald. Tell your mother we'd love meeting her sometime!"

"I'll walk you to the door," said Rose. She slid her chair out from underneath the table and made her way towards the swinging door, holding it for Ron.

He smiled at her, and walked towards the front door. "Wait," she said softly.

"Huh?" said Ron, shifting the bag of sugar to his other hand.

"Back when I was a little girl in St. Olaf, there were two girls that practiced witchcraft. I saw them once in their basement when I was walking home from the market. And no one ever believed me."

"Really?" said Ron, being as innocent as possible.

"Yes," said Rose. "And one of the witches always wore a shirt the same shade of green that you're wearing now. It just reminded me of my childhood days…"

That's all of chapter 2! Tell me what you think! Does Rose know? Or has her stupidity gotten the best of her once again? Rate and review! And thank you for the sweet reviews for Chapter 1.


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